The 'Bachelorette's Trista and Ryan are still together. Fans need it to stay that way
Life is full of truisms: The early bird gets the worm. Patience is a virtue. Reality TV show couples break up.
Ever since the beginning of reality TV, the genre has pulled its stars together in a cozy embrace. Whether on intentionally loved-up shows like "The Bachelor" or those where dating isn't the goal but a a "showmance" pops up like "Big Brother" or "Survivor," putting attractive people in outlandish situations on TV has led to lust and love for decades. But that love was often short-lived. There are more reality breakups than reality marriages, and when even the mature, experienced lovers on "The Golden Bachelor" divorced after just a few months of wedded "bliss" this year, it feels like romances that bloom in front of cameras are doomed to fail.
Well, except for a few.
But of all the reality-TV fairytales we've witnessed, no couple is more beloved or has a more picture-perfect story than Trista and Ryan Sutter. They are not the only "Bachelor/ette" couple that is still together, but in many ways they are the ultimate one. The couple crowned in the very first season of ABC's "The Bachelorette" in 2003 (Season 21 began this week on ABC) has long been considered the ultimate reality pairing. They met on the series, wed on TV and went on to have two children together. They are the longest-lasting couple in the franchise's history. Free from drama on- or offscreen, the very striking pair appears to have that kind of wholesome, All-American marriage you see in TV sitcoms or Crest Whitestrips ads. Their mutual affection jumped off the screen and can still be felt in their recent appearances on the "Bachelor" franchise and social media.
At least, until recently. A series of confusing, "cryptic" posts on Ryan's Instagram sent their followers into a spiral, leading many to wonder whether they were splitting up, or if Trista was in medical jeopardy. Eventually, Trista posted to calm fans' fears, without entirely explaining. "An opportunity for perspective and personal growth presented itself and with the unconditional support of my family and friends, I chose myself and betterment," she wrote. Trista added she is "safe and sound, happy and healthy, in love and grateful."
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Trista's post also promised she would share more details soon, but some fans are still concerned, perhaps more than they might be for other reality TV couples. The question hangs in the air: If it's possible that Trista and Ryan can't make it 'til death do they part, can anyone?
To understand the deep love people have for Trista and Ryan and their place in the reality TV hierarchy, you have to travel back to 2003. Reality TV competitions were an exciting new genre that dominated the Nielsen ratings. Viewers weren't yet cynical about the prospect of finding the love of your life in a few short weeks on TV.
What's going on with Ryan and Trista?A timeline of the 'Bachelorette' stars' cryptic posts
"The Bachelor" had already aired two seasons, but neither had ended in a wedding. Trista Rehn, the runner-up on Season 1, was a fan favorite who lost out on love and now had her chance. Ryan was shy, sweet and soft-spoken, a perfect foil for the magnetic Trista. Their courtship was engrossing without being stressful. Trista picked Ryan in the finale, and he proposed. And then they tied the knot while 17 million people watched. There had never been anything like it.
As "The Bachelor" and "Bachelorette" continued to air and the winning couples continued to fail, Trista and Ryan became the outlier that proved the rule. Sure, maybe it was hard to find a life partner on TV, but it wasn't impossible. Some people can get the fairytale. Maybe with just one more season of "The Bachelor," we'll find another prince and princess to adore.
It's a cliché to say that reality TV isn't real. The situations created for our entertainment are heightened by circumstance, by meddling producers, by emotions and alcohol and the bright lights on the set. But when we watched Trista and Ryan, it was one of the few times when the line between art and life blurred. We didn't just watch their love grow; we felt ownership of it.
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We live in a world where love does not conquer all. One-third of marriages result in divorce. Dating apps teem with the commitment-averse. Romance is basically just putting your phone down to pay attention to your partner.
But for a few weeks two decades ago, we all got to live in a magical world where soulmates found each other in the unlikeliest of places and good things came to those who wait.
Surely fans hope all is well for Trista and Ryan, for the couple's own sake. But we all need them to stay together for ourselves. Sometimes we all need a little help believing in a thing called love.